"What If I Can’t Relax?" Why There Is No Such Thing as Being "Bad" at Massage
A lot of people avoid booking a session because they’re actually stressed about how to de-stress. They think they’ll be the one person who "fails" at relaxing. They worry their mind will race, their body will twitch, or they have "too much energy" to sit still for an hour. If that’s you, let’s get one thing straight: You aren't "bad" at massage. You’re just human. Here is why you don't need to be "zen" to walk through my door, and why your inability to relax is exactly why you should be here.
1. Relaxation is the Goal, Not the Prerequisite
You don’t get in shape before you hire a trainer, and you don’t need to be relaxed before you get on my table. If you could relax on your own, you probably wouldn't need me. My job isn't to wait for you to calm down; my job is to use specific physical and energetic techniques to gently pull your nervous system into a state of rest. If your mind is spinning at 100mph when we start, that’s fine. That’s my starting line, not a hurdle.
2. "Too Much Energy" is Just Unchanneled Tension
When people say they have "too much energy," what they usually mean is their nervous system is over-stimulated. You feel "buzzy," restless, or like you need to move.
This isn't a personality trait; it’s a symptom of a body that has forgotten how to ground itself. In our session, we don’t try to "suppress" that energy. We work to ground it. Through energy work and / or deep, intentional bodywork, we give that "buzz" a place to go, shifting it from frantic restlessness into productive, healing flow.
3. The "Busy Brain" Myth
"I can't stop thinking about my to-do list."
Good. Let it run.
Trying to force your brain to be silent is the fastest way to create more tension. During our session, I don’t expect you to achieve a state of meditative bliss. Most clients find that as we address the physical "holding patterns" in their shoulders and neck, the brain naturally begins to quiet down on its own. Silence isn't something you do; it’s something that happens when your body finally feels safe.
What to Expect if You’re "Restless":
No Judgment: If you need to fidget, fidget. If you need to take a deep, shaky breath, take it.
Communication: If "quiet" feels awkward, we can talk. Sometimes verbalizing the tension is the first step to releasing it.
The Shift: Usually, about 20 minutes in, the "restless" clients are the ones who drop the deepest. Your body wants to let go; it just needs a professional to lead the way.
The Bottom Line: stop waiting until you’re "calm enough" to book a session. You aren't "too much," and you aren't doing it wrong. Whether you’re vibrating with coffee and stress or you’re just naturally high-energy, my table is a place where that energy can finally settle.
Come as you are. Let me handle the "relaxing" part.